Help! My child is in his/her pre-pubescent phase, how do I go about this subject as a parent?
When I was a young lady around 10 or 11years old, there was so much I didn’t know about my own body. I was very curious about all sorts of womanly things that I had been exposed to, like seeing pads for periods, bras, and wondering about razors and such. I didn’t even know why women had periods, let alone what anything really was until I went to public school. I was in the 6th grade when I first learned what intercourse was. I was bullied in the 8th grade (middle school), when I asked the health teacher, "what are condoms?" I genuinely had no idea. To make matters worse, I was always made to feel shame by my relatives. I was always humiliated or embarrassed in one way or the other. So I never felt safe to talk about sex, or even the questions I had about my own body changing. I never felt like I could talk to my parents or my grandparents (whoever I was living with at the time) about anything really. I always felt insecure, embarrassed, and not sure exactly of who I really was, which had a major, negative, impact on my life for many years to come. Fast forward to now.
My beautiful daughter is entering the 4th grade, and I know so many 4th graders already, who are maturing quite faster than I ever did at their age. There are proven statistics on why that is, and a lot of it actually has to do with the absence of a father in a daughter's life. On a separate note, I have made it my life’s mission!!!- to make sure my children do not have the same experience whatsoever, that I had growing up! I want them to feel safe to come to me, and to ask me any question. I never want them to feel shame, or embarrassment about their precious body changing. God made them perfectly in His image!
The beautiful thing about homeschooling is that I know when my kids are ready, or will be ready to talk about, “Why is my body changing?” Puberty. What is that? I’ll be prepared (more below) to meet them where they're at with answers. I don’t want anyone else teaching my children about how to "grow up!" It’s not anyone else’s job to do so. You’ll know too when the timing is right to have a conversation or two, or three ha ha.
See as their mom, I can protect what they watch (eyes) and what they hear (ears). I don’t let them watch whatever they want, like R-rated movies filled with sex scenes, violence, and cursing. There are families that allow that. Believe it or not- that screws up a kids psyche more than you’ll ever know. Those movies, or even (very sexualized) music for that matter, open doors that should not be opened for a child. Parents be careful. Pay attention! The enemy of our soul (Satan) is all about destroying the family unit from the inside out. We must be on our guard!
Song of Solomon 8:4 (NIV) “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
Shows filled with sex & nudity will awaken and disturb the God given purity that has been placed in a child. Do not “arouse” -that’s what God is saying! We need to protect the purity of our children! God is also faithful and true, and He is also able to restore such purity! So don’t lose hope! In leu of all of this, I found this amazing- God filled- wholesome- curriculum, on pre-pubescent phase, that is perfect for my daughters age! This is our health curriculum for this year. I’m so glad I took the plunge and bought Gather ‘Round Homeschool on Growing up with God. I got the first level for my daughter who just turned 9. I want her to be prepared, we aren’t ready to learn about sex yet- but as far as training bras go, pads for the- just-in-case...I want her to be prepared! This curriculum has 3 levels and there is also a workbook for boys too!
If you are wondering ok, how can I be prepared? What can I do? How can I approach this subject with my children who are growing up way too fast? This right here is a good start! These workbooks go over every topic you can imagine and it's wholesome! The topics include, but are not limited to: the way we talk, the body parts we have, how bodies change, how minds change, walking close to God, being a good friend (even those of opposite sex), how babies change, staying healthy (personal hygiene), protecting our purity... that's just level 1. There are more with levels 2/3. It's not just a christian curriculum, it's also educational.
I made my daughter a sweet little gift basket with some items that she will need, or will eventually need, because I want this to be special for her. I want to honor and celebrate her! I want to encourage you as the parent or guardian to think of ways if you haven't already to celebrate your children growing up too! The way I see it- this is our one shot in these rare and fleeting moments of their young lives, to either make or break them. This is something they'll remember forever!
I want my daughter to feel like a princess because she is one! She will never have to wonder for years (like me) about who she is or why she is here. There will be no confusion as to who she is. She is a female through and through. She is a beloved daughter of God Most High! She will be confident in herself and the days to come. I want her to embrace this life and know that her body was created perfectly in the image of God! She is filled with destiny, and great purpose! Purity and power are hers for the WIN. She is a world changer!
The world we live in is a scary place right now. It’s time to rise up parents- it’s time to take back our youth for the Lord! Below are some great reads that I highly recommend! Dr. James Dobson has some good materials and there is even a book on bringing up boys from him. A grown-up's guide to kids wiring is about recognizing the different temperaments of children and it's a great tool to have in your tool box. Love & Respect is a huge eye opener-it's so so good!
We all need wisdom, counsel- every one of us. You want to parent better? You want to be a better version of yourself? We need to be open to change.Don't be afraid dear heart. Open your bible, pray, and ask the Holy Spirit to point you in the right direction. Rely, adhere, and trust in the Lord every step of the way, in this journey called: parenthood! God is faithful and he will guide you, he will hold onto you and never let you go! We have such a huge responsibility to our children, I honestly could not do it without God!
If you are looking for more... and you just need more-here it is! Anyhow, I love my children so much, and take so much pride in being able to teach them. It is a gift. I am so excited to walk this journey with my daughter. I want her to feel loved and encouraged! No judgement here. Only love.